at this time a year ago,

i couldn't fathom the time would come

when hutch would actually be a year old.

the end of my pregnancy/arrival of hutch

was rough to say the least.

bed rest for a month, delivering five weeks early,

36 hours of labor while on medication that made me

sound like anna nicole smith and

puke on the shoes of the lactation nurse.

and, oh, the heartbreak of my beautiful hutch being in the nicu

was more than i thought my heart was able to hold.

i was still in the hospital because i developed a kidney infection,

so every three hours i would head down to the nicu with alex for feeding/cuddle time with hutch,

accessorized with my i.v. and loose hospital gown,

leaving my modesty in my hospital room.

hutch was able to go home before i was,

and i remember watching the nicu nurses pack things

for alex to take home with hutch.

alex made a remark about how this was

"just like going camping," to which the nurses responded

with nervous glances

and courtesy laughs.

my husband, who never ceases to amaze me, was (and is)

so steadfast and nurturing to both

hutch and me.

the emotional scars from those difficult couple of weeks

are still there,

but are much, much softer.

and here we are a year later,

with a happy, healthy, and busy dreamboat

who has a

wide, impish grin

and alex's quick wit.

he goes quite well

with the love of my life

and myself,

and i dare say we will keep him.