something tragic happened today
to a friend.
it was a gut-wrenching reminder that
*we can never assume someone is 'okay'
*we can never assume someone is 'doing better'
*we can never minimize Christ's power in our everyday interactions
*it is always worth saying something....even if that something is that we don't know what to say

i love the way they smell
fresh out of the bath, their hair scented with honey shampoo.



but i REALLY love the way they smell the rest of the time:
this earthy combination of dirt and grass and campfires. it's really my favorite smell in the world

...and now you're four

here we go again....

another late post about you, my boy

who is growing faster than i ever thought,

causing every blink to turn into a new chapter

without me even realizing it.

but it's so interesting to me

to see how my strong memories of you at every age

are just as present in you now in new ways, at four.

like as a baby, you would jump in your crib for up to half an hour...

i think about that sometimes as i watch you soar on your bike and

find the highest thing possible to climb up and fling yourself off of.

of how your first word was a very enthusiastic YEAH!,

so indicadive of the personality unfolding in you.

in the year leading up to four

you started preschool a couple of days a week,

started writing letters, your name, other words,

played even harder and more daringly,

and i didn't know that was even possible.

your teacher summed you up so perfectly when

she told me what a unique combination you are:

so physical in your play, but with a very gentle heart

and personality. so true, and so much like your dad.

i am so thankful for you,

for your spirit, your heart,

and that God chose me to be your mom.

what a lucky gal i am.

a NeW SEAson

april is the cruesllest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain -t.s. eliot, the waste land

did i really miss a whole season blogging? i did, didn't i? we had a great winter, we really did. tons of snow, skiing, sledding, and snowshoeing with the kids which was intoxicating. having never been a winter person, i fully embraced it this year. maybe because the kids were a bit older and lasted longer outside than last year. i just kept shaking my head this winter thinking that i can't believe my kids will grow up thinking this is normal. they will have such a different childhood outdoor experience than me.

i would show you lots of pictures, of our winter adventures and our time in texas (katie, promise those pics are coming) but the battery is dead on my camera and i am charging it right now. so, later. but the fact that i'm even posting at all counts for something, right?

and now it is spring. this is where i get antsy. it's warmer-ish, but we've seen a little more snow than i would like, and haven't seen the sun in a month. yikes. i could probably (and kind of will) rant and rave right now, as i pine for the blue skies and warm weather the summer will bring, allowing us to discard the many layers it currently requires to get the kids out the door, but i am trying to stray from the negative and focus on the positive: the layers aren't quite so many right now, and ice no longer is a permenant fixture on our driveway and sidewalks, allowing for the uninhibited biking and scootering the mini-jehles love so much.

and it is Lent. i actually have grown to love lent, something i know i would not have said 10 years ago. but although i love it, lent is hard for me. for most people, i think. this year, i have given up speaking negative words and gossip. even the people magazine-celebrity infused gossip, which is really the main source of my kryptonite, anyway. because any negative word i have been tempted speak, and scandalous story i tell, has usually been rooted in the fact that i want to feel a little better, a little more normal about myself. and i've failed some this lenten season, but i've been thankful for the covering of grace, and that my falls this season have marintated a little more, caused me to reflect on my words much more, making me desire to have a permenant change in the way i speak.

to change tones completely, i leave you with this. my boy turned four a month ago, and his birthday post is #1 on my to-do list. so, as a tribute to him, here is a video we watched a LOT in Hutch Year Three, one that inspired his soul and imagination. it really is beautiful, and worth a watch. **note: you need to enlarge the screen to see the full frame**

birTHDAy CIRcle*

so, not much action on here lately. i'll get there, i promise.
but i had to write this, because i know the day may come
when the paper is gone, and this was so cute, i wanted to
make sure it was recorded.
hutch turns four on thursday (gulp), and
his preschool class has a birthday ritual.
his teacher traces his body on a piece of butcher paper, and writes
kind words from his classmates in the outline.
some of these made me laugh out loud, because
kids this age say such pure and funny things:

hutch's birthday circle

'i like to play with you a lot hutch and we are friends. Love will be there together and i know we will be friends. i like playing ice cream" -isabella

"i play with you on the slide and we go outside"-janey

"happy birthday and i like playing with you"-larkin

"i like hutch because he was sitting next to me at lunchtime. i'm his best friend. i like to play with him outside and school."-silas g.

"i like you, hutch, because we play outside. i like playing on the slide with you and going outside. hutch, you always play outside. you are my best friend."-silas s.

" silas might love you and happy birthday and i luv you. hug hug."-sparrow

"hutch, i think you are neat. i learn a lot about airplanes, dirt bikes, and race cars from you.'-lesa

"happy birthday. i have lots of fun talking with you about crazy cats, motorbikes, and airplanes."-diane

"i like airplanes. i think that's all."-hutch

our (not so) little ladybug

i just realized today

that elsa is the same age

hutch was when we moved here.

that can't be right,

except it is right.