something tragic happened today
to a friend.
it was a gut-wrenching reminder that
*we can never assume someone is 'okay'
*we can never assume someone is 'doing better'
*we can never minimize Christ's power in our everyday interactions
*it is always worth saying something....even if that something is that we don't know what to say

i love the way they smell
fresh out of the bath, their hair scented with honey shampoo.



but i REALLY love the way they smell the rest of the time:
this earthy combination of dirt and grass and campfires. it's really my favorite smell in the world

...and now you're four

here we go again....

another late post about you, my boy

who is growing faster than i ever thought,

causing every blink to turn into a new chapter

without me even realizing it.

but it's so interesting to me

to see how my strong memories of you at every age

are just as present in you now in new ways, at four.

like as a baby, you would jump in your crib for up to half an hour...

i think about that sometimes as i watch you soar on your bike and

find the highest thing possible to climb up and fling yourself off of.

of how your first word was a very enthusiastic YEAH!,

so indicadive of the personality unfolding in you.

in the year leading up to four

you started preschool a couple of days a week,

started writing letters, your name, other words,

played even harder and more daringly,

and i didn't know that was even possible.

your teacher summed you up so perfectly when

she told me what a unique combination you are:

so physical in your play, but with a very gentle heart

and personality. so true, and so much like your dad.

i am so thankful for you,

for your spirit, your heart,

and that God chose me to be your mom.

what a lucky gal i am.

a NeW SEAson

april is the cruesllest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain -t.s. eliot, the waste land

did i really miss a whole season blogging? i did, didn't i? we had a great winter, we really did. tons of snow, skiing, sledding, and snowshoeing with the kids which was intoxicating. having never been a winter person, i fully embraced it this year. maybe because the kids were a bit older and lasted longer outside than last year. i just kept shaking my head this winter thinking that i can't believe my kids will grow up thinking this is normal. they will have such a different childhood outdoor experience than me.

i would show you lots of pictures, of our winter adventures and our time in texas (katie, promise those pics are coming) but the battery is dead on my camera and i am charging it right now. so, later. but the fact that i'm even posting at all counts for something, right?

and now it is spring. this is where i get antsy. it's warmer-ish, but we've seen a little more snow than i would like, and haven't seen the sun in a month. yikes. i could probably (and kind of will) rant and rave right now, as i pine for the blue skies and warm weather the summer will bring, allowing us to discard the many layers it currently requires to get the kids out the door, but i am trying to stray from the negative and focus on the positive: the layers aren't quite so many right now, and ice no longer is a permenant fixture on our driveway and sidewalks, allowing for the uninhibited biking and scootering the mini-jehles love so much.

and it is Lent. i actually have grown to love lent, something i know i would not have said 10 years ago. but although i love it, lent is hard for me. for most people, i think. this year, i have given up speaking negative words and gossip. even the people magazine-celebrity infused gossip, which is really the main source of my kryptonite, anyway. because any negative word i have been tempted speak, and scandalous story i tell, has usually been rooted in the fact that i want to feel a little better, a little more normal about myself. and i've failed some this lenten season, but i've been thankful for the covering of grace, and that my falls this season have marintated a little more, caused me to reflect on my words much more, making me desire to have a permenant change in the way i speak.

to change tones completely, i leave you with this. my boy turned four a month ago, and his birthday post is #1 on my to-do list. so, as a tribute to him, here is a video we watched a LOT in Hutch Year Three, one that inspired his soul and imagination. it really is beautiful, and worth a watch. **note: you need to enlarge the screen to see the full frame**

birTHDAy CIRcle*

so, not much action on here lately. i'll get there, i promise.
but i had to write this, because i know the day may come
when the paper is gone, and this was so cute, i wanted to
make sure it was recorded.
hutch turns four on thursday (gulp), and
his preschool class has a birthday ritual.
his teacher traces his body on a piece of butcher paper, and writes
kind words from his classmates in the outline.
some of these made me laugh out loud, because
kids this age say such pure and funny things:

hutch's birthday circle

'i like to play with you a lot hutch and we are friends. Love will be there together and i know we will be friends. i like playing ice cream" -isabella

"i play with you on the slide and we go outside"-janey

"happy birthday and i like playing with you"-larkin

"i like hutch because he was sitting next to me at lunchtime. i'm his best friend. i like to play with him outside and school."-silas g.

"i like you, hutch, because we play outside. i like playing on the slide with you and going outside. hutch, you always play outside. you are my best friend."-silas s.

" silas might love you and happy birthday and i luv you. hug hug."-sparrow

"hutch, i think you are neat. i learn a lot about airplanes, dirt bikes, and race cars from you.'-lesa

"happy birthday. i have lots of fun talking with you about crazy cats, motorbikes, and airplanes."-diane

"i like airplanes. i think that's all."-hutch

our (not so) little ladybug

i just realized today

that elsa is the same age

hutch was when we moved here.

that can't be right,

except it is right.

two things....

..have happened recently in my daily outings/dialouge with h and e.
the first a little embarrasing, the second a little scary.

scene 1
hutch and i had a donut date, so we headed to safeway together to pick some up.
as we entered the store, hutch yelled several times "SECURITY!"
he is most certainly a spawn of alex jehle.
i really thought the gals stacking at the display nearby would never stop laughing.

scene 2
the scary one. one of the deals at our house is using sweet words. it great to express your opinion and be assertive, but be kind in your choice of words.

and when i ask them to do something, i give a reason, and saying no is not an option.
so today, i asked elsa to put her shoes on to leave and she said,

"NO!"..her eyes widened, a brief pause, then the recovery "...my ABC's, next time won't you sing with me." she sang "i know my ABC's" once more, as if to drive home the point that she wasn't saying no, she was just picking up on the tail end of the alphabet.

we are in. for. it, ya'll.

tHe "NeW" jeHLemoBILE

this is our 'investment in the family' as we like to call it.
it's a 1969 airstream land yacht.
we've used it every weekend since we got it.
we named it clifford.

if you can get there, get there (part 1)

we love where we live. we know this is where we are supposed to be.
but, as those of you know who don't live near family/old friends,
there is always a bit of heartache that comes with the decision to
live any great distance from those you love.
virginia was a great expereince, but also pretty rattling time for us, fellowship-wise.
and we feel at home here in big sky country, and are making friends,
but very much look forward to not just knowing people, but truly being known,
and truly knowing those we are friends with. it all takes time.
i am so thankful for the friends and family that make the trek to montana, and so happy my folks bought a summer home here. these visits are such a gift.

all that so say, although it seems more often than not plans don't work out,
if the opportunity to see people we are close to pops up, if we can get there, we get there.
we had that chance yesterday with a longtime friend of alex's, chris creighton.
he coaches the iowa drake bulldogs, and is an all-around cool person.
you can hear an interview he did recently on npr here.
his team played montana state yesterday, so we drove to bozeman friday,
camped, and had the honor to support and watch a good friend, who we do not see...ever, really.

and let me tell you this: i was blown away. i know so few people who truly love and believe in every aspect of their job, and this guy does. and to get to sit on the front row and watch someone in their element really is inspiring. the integrity with which he coaches, the encouragement he gives to his players, he was born to be a college football coach, alex and i both left pumped up, ready to take on any challenge. and hutch woke up this a.m. asking to play football. and elsa just asked for fruit snacks the whole time. can't disagree, they are tasty.

40

my handsome birthday boy.

i love him.

for alex's big 40 weekend, we took these jokers:

to this place: glacier national park.

there is no place like it, pure magic.

we saw lots of stunning scenery like this:

and a lot of wild animals like this one, who was kind

enough to allow me to get a close up.

and the kids were most excited about this:

a pica mouse at our campsite. hutch named him 'horsepower'

and elsa tried to give him a million rocks and sticks to eat.

buggy is two!

elsa, ladybug, buggy, bugs, bugga...
you turned two almost two weeks ago.
and i can't believe it. i also can't wrap my brain
around all of the things i want to say to you.

you are buttermilk pie doused in hot sauce,
sweet to the core with a very liberal dose of spice.
you make us laugh, give us love, confuse us,
and we marvel at the girl God made just for our family. you are a perfect fit with your many, many personality traits. we love them all.


bugs, i love your tough, feisty exterior.
you play it lauren bacall-cool with others, studying them,
offering little more than a mona lisa smile at their efforts to win you over
until you really, really know them.
and even then you still play hard to get.
but when you open up, you are a chatterbox, grinning, giggling girl.

you don't walk, you strut. in your red cowgirl boots, because
what else would you possibly want to wear?
my elsa, you love babies, animals, books, singing, and dancing, dancing, dancing.

i love seeing you with your brother, you absolutely love him.
you call him 'my hutchy,' or 'my bubba,'
and shower him with hugs and pats, kiss his boo-boo's
and are absolutely agitated if you
wake up first and have to wait for hutch to come downstairs.

bugga, we are so thankful for you.
you are so unique, yet i see so much great-grandmommy in you.
i remember reading that much of one's personality is developed
by age two. if that is the case, we need to buckle up,
because you are going to be one wild ride. and we can't wait to see the
beautiful person you will continue to become.

sEt mE frEE

while i was in texas meeting cute babies,
alex took superb care of the kids. lucky for him,
the x games were on, and hutch was able to see
all the motorsport/bmx events
he could handle.
they must have rubbed off, because last monday he declared he wanted
his training wheels off. he prepared by drawing a mustache and goatee
on his face, waited until dad got home, and went to work.
and he was ready. and i have never seen such joy on his face,
and watching his face made the whole event awesome for me.
that night, he hugged me and said,
"mommy, thank you so much for watching me ride tonight. i love you."
man, i love that kid.
the first picture is him riding at home,
the second is of him "off-roading" into the distance in idaho,
with elsa desperate to keep up.

new LOVE

a couple of weeks ago, i finally got to meet my
nephew and niece, daniel timothy mcguire,
and emmeline kay mcguire.
after gazing at multiple pictures of them for two months,
it was just so lovely to meet them. i'm always surprised,
even though i should know by now, at how much love God creates
in our hearts for new life in our family and close friends. it's like my heart has to grow
bigger every time, because here comes more love than i know
what to do with.
i miss them, and feel so honored to be their aunt,
and so honored to be their godmother! such a wonderful
cherry on top.

someone was the lucky recipient of an
all-purpose helmet courtesy of some friends
with three boys...









which means someone else couldn't WAIT
to get her hands on the one hutch has been using
for pretend play.

there are definitely two winners. and both winners have worn the

respective helmets two days straight...and counting

hAPPy 4th

new camera or not, you can only get kids to sit so still...

kOOteNaI cREek

did a little hikey-hike with some friends this weekend,
about a half hour up bitteroot valley from missoula.
montana in the summer is the best.

helLO PHotOs...

well, my constant sighs of wanting a digital slr has paid off
(katie, your awesome pics put me over the top),
because alex surprised me with a new camera for my birthday!
an added surprise is that if purchased online from costco,
the prized possession will not arrive until
four weeks after ordering.
but i digress.
my new 'ra (as i like to call it)
arrived today, and i have done nothing productive since,
and am feeling a little overwhelmed by all of these options
i now have at my disposal.
so, expect a lot of slide shows like this one.
random photos of my kids who need their faces and noses wiped,
while hutch is pretending to cry in several,
a few glamour shots of alex,
and some garden and weed pictures. enjoy!

three (as of a few months ago)

hutch, i have really stuggled in writing this post. not because i don't have a million things to say about you, because talking to you/about you is easy as pie, but more because i'm in denial you're getting older. three sounds so old to me. i think all the time about how God is so wonderful to us to make each year with you and elsa better and better to counteract with the heartache of how fast time flies with our babies.
and it's not just time that flies, bubbs, you fly. this has been a pivitol year for you as far as finding things you love, and what you love is to go fast. your ultimate goal is a dirt-bike, but until then you will be satifsied flying around the skate park on your scooter, flying down the bunny slope on your skis, jumping off things so high they make me cringe, and practicing your motocross stunts. i spend a lot of time covering my eyes with you, and i am so thankful for your balance and confidence, because every day your attempts get bigger.
you make everyday life so fun. your enthusiasm is contagious, and there is plenty to go around. throwing rocks in the river, catching bugs, all the simple pleasures are met with "oh, man, that sounds AWESOME!" when suggested. seeing the world through your eyes is a beautiful thing, and i enjoy you enjoying life, and enjoy you wanting to confirm that any fun thing we have done that day will also be available in heaven.
but the thing i love the most about year 2-3, something i pray won't ever change, is how vocal you are in your love for us. thank you, hutch, for telling us you love us as often as you do. daddy, elsa, and myself are so blessed by those three words, and your inablility to keep your 'i love you's' and huge hugs contained is indescribeably perfect.
in short, hutch, we celebrate you, delight in you, and are so, so thankful for you and the boy you are.

two beautiful things spotted last night...

this double rainbow off our front porch,
and elsa's face when she saw it.

merry merry 2009

no post in awhile, no pictures in awhile,
so here's about 5 billion of our trip to texas.
our time there was wonderful, grandmommy
was celebrated and missed, hutch and elsa
basked in the affection of ada, mcmomma,
unc and ra-ra,
alex wasn't there long enough,
and it's really nice to be home.